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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25721620">Innocence for Power</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mojo_da_jojo/pseuds/mojo_da_jojo'>mojo_da_jojo</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Join Me in Heaven, and Sorrow No More [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Background Relationships, F/M, Politics, Post-Canon, War</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 11:06:56</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,390</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25721620</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mojo_da_jojo/pseuds/mojo_da_jojo</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p><i>You have chosen, and spilled the blood</i><br/><i>Of innocence for power. I pity your folly,</i><br/><i>But still more do I pity those whose lives you have taken</i><br/><i>In pursuit of selfish goals.</i><br/><i>No more will you bear the Light.</i><br/><i>To darkness flee, and be gone from My sight!"</i><br/>- Silence 3:7</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Female Lavellan/Solas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Join Me in Heaven, and Sorrow No More [8]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/600862</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Innocence for Power</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Wowza, I never would have guessed when I first started this disaster 'verse that I'd hit 8 parts and counting. And yet... here we are.</p><p>There is a six month time-skip between the end of <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/12621284/chapters/28756020">A Place for Ourselves</a> and the beginning of Innocence for Power. And yes, there will be more of <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/12621404/chapters/28756316">Yours to Give</a>, but I wanted to keep the main focus on Lavellan's story for this part of the fic, and let Hawke's story become less of a priority. There's still more for Hawke to do, though, so never fear!</p><p>Potential trigger warnings in the endnotes for this chapter!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Amica,</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I would say that I hope this letter finds you well, but I think we both know the reality of the situation is... let's say 'less optimistic,' shall we? It almost makes me wish for the days when I could write a letter simply to exchange pleasantries. Ah, if my mother could see me now.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>It's the 25th of Frumentum, 2043, or the 25th Harvestmere, 9:49, as you Southerners reckon such things. It's been six months since you and I last saw each other in Kirkwall. It still feels odd to inform you of such a mundane thing as timekeeping, and yet somehow fascinating to observe the temporal warp between your current abode and the physical world. Would that I had the time and resources to study it. Perhaps I will, should we all live through this nonsense, although that's seeming less and less likely as the days pass.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>It isn't going well here in Minrathous, as one might imagine. Maevaris and I have been able to confirm Leliana's suspicions that two of these Evanuris have infiltrated the upper echelons of the Magisterium, with the help of those few Lucerni who still live. Those who oppose these new 'Imperati' grow quieter each day as their allies mysteriously vanish or are quietly killed. It's all we can do to maintain enough of voting presence to keep the Imperium from openly declaring war - especially with the Qunari threat all but vanquished, which is a whole concerning matter in and of itself. The Imperium has never been a nation known to sit on its laurels and let peace reign for long. With the bulk of the Imperial armies freed from the once-endless Qunari war, talks to reclaim the Free Marches have already begun. I trust I don't need to tell you how disastrous that would be for everyone involved.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>As for myself, my dear Commander, and the remaining Lucerni, we are doing what we can to stay safe and stay vigilant. The few templars Cullen was able to bring with him have done amazing work spreading their knowledge and skills to what soldiers we are able to recruit. In a few months' time we may well have a full retinue of proper templars able to fight circles around the Tevinter variety, still knocking about with their training swords and pretending they have any authority whatsoever.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Cullen's templars, however few their number, ensure that we have nothing to fear from the human mages who support the Imperati. Still, I can't help but feel that the only thing protecting us from the Evanuris here - June and Sylaise, if Leliana's information is to be believed - is that we still don't know exactly whom they are impersonating. Leliana believes they are hiding within the Magisterium itself, having killed and replaced two members. Something about that doesn't sit right with me, though. I know these people. We magisters are notoriously outspoken, brash, and strong-willed - Tevinter politics make the Orlesian Great Game seem like schoolyard playacting. For many of the Lucerni, studying our political enemies has been our life's work - watching for weaknesses, playing upon faults. If it's true that two of these magisters have been replaced, surely someone would have noticed.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I wish I had better news to give you, but we will continue to gather information and do our best to keep the Imperium from declaring all-out war upon the Free Marches, and playing right into the hands of the Evanuris if they do.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I hope my next letter carries more of an optimistic tone, but then again... you know me.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Yours always in friendship and in love,</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Magister Dorian Pavus</i>
</p><p> </p><p>Lavellan puts the letter down with a sigh.</p><p>Six months. Six months of correspondences from her friends and allies scattered across Thedas, all of them bleak and bearing only occasional news of minor victories against the Evanuris. Six months of combing the combined knowledge of every known nation and what remains of the Vir Dirthara, hopelessly searching for some weapon, some magic, <i>something</i> to give any indication that the Evanuris could be slain, that it was possible, somehow, to win this war...</p><p>...and nothing.</p><p>It's likely been longer than six months, here in the Crossroads. Time passes strangely with no tangible means of determining it - there is no sun, here, no moon or stars, no change of seasons. Even the sending crystals Dorian had devised are useless here, messages coming through strangely garbled and scrambled - when they come through at all. Instead, she relies on letters delivered through Solas in his occasional trips to the physical world to cleanse Dalish of their vallaslin in as large groups as he can before he must return to avoid Andruil's ever-looming shadow.</p><p>"Shall I draft a response to Magister Pavus?" asks Diligence, the spirit of study that Solas had persuaded to act as Lavellan's assistant of sorts within the Vir Dirthara.</p><p>"No, thank you, Dill," Lavellan says, passing the letter off for it to file. "Will you make copies of what information we have on June and Sylaise? I'd like to be able to send him something useful, at least."</p><p>"It will be done," Dilligence says, its reddish-orange form dipping its spectral head before drifting away through a bookshelf.</p><p>Lavellan abandons the stack of books waiting for her and stands to stretch, neck and back popping as she frees them from their position hunched over the 'pending' desk. Another table in the center of the space Diligence had cleared for her use is a replica of the one she and her advisors had used at Skyhold, a vast map of Thedas some ten feet wide. Rather than markers for pending missions or items needing her attention, however, she's devoted this one to a reasonably-accurate estimation of her allies' efforts against the Evanuris. Tiny blue pins mark the locations of eluvians still connected to Solas' network, and green flags representing her allies are labelled with each of their names. She drops two red flags in Minrathous for June and Sylaise - previously set to the side as she'd no knowledge of their location before - and shifts a few other flags to match what she's read today in reports.</p><p>"Minrathous," she murmurs to herself. The red flags on her map are deceivingly few. There may be only seven Evanuris, she knows, but their strength compared to her allies' is beyond measure. She looks at the other red flags. "June and Sylaise in Minrathous. Andruil and Ghilan'nain still in Arlathan Forest. Elgar'nan, last seen in Seheron." She raises her voice. "Dill, remind me to discuss the Qunari's disappearance with Leliana in our next meeting, please."</p><p>"It will be done." Diligence's voice is far away, but clearly it can still hear her.</p><p>"And Falon'Din and Dirthamen still unaccounted for," Lavellan continues. That's worrying in and of itself, of course, but holds particular concern for Lavellan, as her sister Deshanna is likely enslaved to Falon'Din via her vallaslin and still has not been sighted by any of her allies.</p><p>"Dill, when was Hawke's last report?" she asks absently. "I didn't see one in the most recent bunch."</p><p>"Former Kirkwall Champion Callum Hawke last reported from Jader, in the kingdom of Ferelden, dated 12 Harvestmere, 9:49 Dragon by the calendar of the White Chantry," Diligence says. "His intentions were to travel south with companions Fenris and Isabela, enter the dwarven kingdom via the Frostback Mountains, and investigate the sudden absence of communication from Orzammar."</p><p>"And that was... a week before Dorian's report?" Lavellan asks, trying to remember. Diligence's memory is far less spotty than her own.</p><p>"Correct," Diligence says. Its vague form drifts back through the wall of Lavellan's study. "Magister Pavus' report is the most recent of the ones you read today. The date in the waking world is currently either 27 or 28 Harvestmere, 9:49 Dragon."</p><p>Lavellan wrinkles her nose. "Either/or," she says. "This time discrepancy is frustrating."</p><p>Diligence doesn't respond. It rarely does, unless Lavellan asks a direct question or issues a request.</p><p>"Just over two weeks, give or take," she says, moving Hawke's red flag from Jader to the Frostbacks. "That's not really long enough to start properly worrying, right? If it were, Varric would have mentioned it. When was my last letter from him?"</p><p>"Viscount Varric Tethras last reported from Kirkwall, in the Free Marches, dated 23 Harvestemere, 9:49 Dragon by -"</p><p>"Yes, thank you, that's enough, Dill," she says, cutting off what's likely to be a much longer response than she needs. "Do we still have any active eluvians near Hawke's approximate location in the Deep Roads?"</p><p>"Unlikely," Diligence says. "Eluvian number fifty-seven, located within the White Lotus brothel in Orzammar, has been inaccessible for an estimated four months. Eluvian number eighty-two, located within Cadash Thaig, is inaccessible, presumed damaged. Eluvian number thirty-five is the closest active eluvian underground, approximately eighty-seven miles away."</p><p>"Well, that's not helpful," Lavellan says. "So it will be some time before we hear from Hawke, then. Perhaps he'll be able to make contact with one of Leliana's agents if he can't report directly to us."</p><p>She's beginning to have a much greater sympathy for her spymaster friend's position. The sheer number of letters and reports she reads each time Solas returns from the waking world is enough to drive a person mad. Her workspace here in the Vir Dirthara would likely be an incomprehensible mess of papers, books, maps, and notes without Diligence's aid in organizing it, and Diligence doesn't require sleep, food, or any other kind of sustenance. "I don't see how Leliana's done this for so long," she says, more to herself than to Diligence. "No wonder she's so... intense."</p><p>"Sister Nightingale has six aides, an entire staff of scribes, and nearly two decades of experience," says a voice from behind her, and Lavellan would be startled if she wasn't used to Solas appearing seemingly out of nowhere these days. He seems right at home in the Crossroads, though Lavellan isn't sure whether that's the effect of the magic woven into the very fiber of the place or the similarity to Solas' former home. <i>Probably both,</i> she thinks. </p><p>Solas shakes snow out of his hair, grown longer in the months they've been in the Crossroads, and sheds the heavy fur cloak he's taken to wearing into the frigid winter of the waking world. "I know it has been difficult for you," he says, "removed as you are from the center of things. I know you tire of hearing it, but you needn't stay here in the Crossroads for my sake."</p><p><i>It's not like I'm any use out there,</i> Lavellan thinks, but doesn't voice it. "How long have you been back?" she asks instead.</p><p>The corner of Solas' mouth turns up. "I keep thinking that one of these days you'll tire of asking time-relative questions in a place by its very nature devoid of time," he says.</p><p>Lavellan rolls her eyes. "You know what I mean," she says.</p><p>"I do," he admits. "Not long. Sera sends her regards." He joins her by the map table, leaning close enough to her for their shoulders to bump together.</p><p>"I doubt 'regards' were the words she used," Lavellan says. </p><p>"No," he agrees, but doesn't elaborate.</p><p>"How many did she have today?" she asks.</p><p>"Nine," Solas says.</p><p>"Anyone I would know?" Lavellan asks.</p><p>"I recognized the Keeper of Clan Sabrae," he says. "We met her in the Hinterlands, very soon after the Breach. Mihris, I believe she is called."</p><p>Lavellan nods, though she doesn't know Mihris well.</p><p>"Still no news of your sister," Solas tells her quietly.</p><p>"We've seen very few Dalish that were dedicated to Falon'Din or Dirthamen," she says, reminding herself as much as Solas. "It's likely they've been taken to wherever they are."</p><p>"That's possible," Solas agrees.</p><p>"I'm concerned about the Qunari," Lavellan says, trying to distract herself. "Dorian's latest report confirms that they've essentially disappeared from the front lines, and Tevinter apparently feels confident enough that the war is over that they've pulled back their armies - the Magisterium is voting on trying to reclaim the Free Marches, and Dorian thinks June and Sylaise are among the Imperati somehow, and -"</p><p>"<i>Vhenan,</i>" Solas says. "Slow down." He takes her hand. "I spent almost an entire day in Starkhaven with Sera's resistance forces there, and you've barely moved from where you were when I first departed. Have you slept or eaten since I left?"</p><p>"...No," she admits. She doesn't need to tell him how easy it is to lose track of time here, and given that her only company when he leaves is Diligence, who needs neither rest nor sustenance, she often forgets to see to her own needs.</p><p>"Take a break," Solas says firmly. "I insist."</p><p>"Yes, alright," Lavellan says, allowing him to draw her away from her study.</p><p>She only half-listens as Solas recounts his day with Sera over the simple meal he prepares. They've settled into an oddly domestic routine here, unable to directly contribute to the resistance effort without drawing Andruil's gaze towards their presence. Lavellan remembers all too well their close call in Lindholm. As long as Andruil and Ghilan'nain keep hunting her and Solas as their main priority, at least it means they aren't actively killing the Red Jennies, who have been in the most direct danger since they began capturing enslaved Dalish with the help of Dagna's enchanted silverite arrows.</p><p>"...almost makes one wish for Corypheus as an enemy once more," Solas says ruefully, and Lavellan realizes she hasn't been paying attention. "Though I shudder to think what the state of the world might have been had you not succeeded in finally putting him to rest."</p><p>The mention of Corypheus gives Lavellan pause. "Solas," she says, thinking. "Corypheus' immortality... it was very different from the Evanuris', wasn't it? After all, we could wound him. Hawke killed him once. We watched him die at the Temple of Mythal. He could come back because his power was invested in his dragon, or have I oversimplified it?"</p><p>"Not extensively," Solas says. "That is the gist of it."</p><p>"But the Evanuris' immortality doesn't work that way," she continues. "I couldn't even wound Andruil. Our allies have found nothing that even slows them down. Clearly, they aren't using the same method as Corypheus. So what <i>are</i> they using?"</p><p>"That's... an excellent question," Solas says. "It could be the same method as Corypheus, but if it is, they've clearly made some adjustments."</p><p>"You don't know how they became immortal?" Lavellan asks dubiously.</p><p>"If I had, I wouldn't have needed to trap them in <i>uthenara,</i>" he tells her. "I could have merely undone it."</p><p>She frowns. "If that were possible." </p><p>"No magic is irreversible," Solas says. "Any enchantment, once done, can also be undone. It is only a matter of discovering how. Often, however, the undoing is the more difficult task."</p><p>"Like creating a Veil between worlds," Lavellan suggests.</p><p>Solas' face is grim. "Even so."</p><p>"Was Mythal immortal as well?" Lavellan asks. "I suppose she had to have been, if a piece of her spirit survived in Flemeth."</p><p>"Yes," Solas says.</p><p>"But the other Evanuris managed to kill her anyway," she says. "In your own words."</p><p>Solas doesn't answer. His eyes are oddly unfocused, as if he's lost in thought.</p><p>"Solas?" she says, touching his hand with her own.</p><p>He jolts as if startled. "My apologies," he says. "What were you asking?"</p><p>"How did the other Evanuris kill Mythal?" Lavellan asks.</p><p>Solas looks away, grief etched in the lines of his face. His hand clutches at his chest in what Lavellan has come to recognize as a reflexive gesture, associated with his jawbone pendant that she still wears around her own neck. "I'm not certain of the details," he says.</p><p>"You're... not?"</p><p>"I wasn't there," Solas tells her, and Lavellan can hear the regret those words cause him. </p><p>"I'm sorry," she says, at a loss for anything else to say. </p><p>Lavellan has come to understand Solas a little better in the months they've spent here in the Crossroads, but there is still so much she doesn't know. He's told her of what transpired when Dorian brought him back after his execution - how Dorian had discovered his origins as a spirit, not a mortal elf. Solas had offered up the information freely, hoping to dispel some of the tension and secrets between them and begin anew with their strange, tenuous new relationship.</p><p>She knows that Solas doesn't remember anything from before Mythal had bound him into a physical body. She'd done so for a purpose - to help her People - though Solas still isn't sure what that purpose had been. He'd seen her as a mother, first, and a mentor, second, and it had only been after many centuries as her servant and guardian that he'd come to see her also as a friend.</p><p>It's odd that he hadn't been at Mythal's side when the Evanuris had attacked. From what Lavellan understands, he'd been nearly inseparable from her, especially as tensions grew between Mythal and her power-hungry peers. Their bond had been so legendary that the People had built statues of Fen'harel in every temple and shrine to Mythal for millenia to come.</p><p>If he had been lured away, only for the Evanuris to kill the woman who had given him life, and purpose - it's no wonder it's difficult for him to talk about, even some eight thousand years later.</p><p>"I don't mean to pry," Lavellan says quietly. "I know it grieves you to speak of her. But it may be important. If there's a way to find out how they were able to kill her, perhaps it could lead us to a way to defeat them as well."</p><p>"I don't believe it's relevant," Solas says.</p><p>Lavellan frowns, taken aback. "How could it not be?"</p><p>Solas doesn't answer. His eyes are fixed somewhere over her shoulder, as if looking at something far away. </p><p>"Even if it leads us nowhere, it's somewhere to start," Lavellan says. "I know it's painful for you, but I could do the majority of the digging if that would make it easier... I just think it's worth looking into. At worst, we find nothing, which is all we've been doing for the past six months anyway."</p><p>Solas still doesn't respond. Lavellan peers at him, unease stirring in the pit of her gut. His eyes have gone glassy. "Solas?" she asks sharply, worried.</p><p>Solas jumps like he had before when she'd touched his hand. "My apologies," he says, just like the first time. "It was a long day. I must have drifted off for a moment. What were we speaking of?"</p><p>The hair rises on the back of Lavellan's neck. "Nothing," she says carefully. "Sera and the Red Jennies."</p><p>"Ah, of course," he says. "As I was saying, Dagna's supply of silverite is beginning to run short. We may need to find a new source of it for her, or otherwise find an alternative metal for her enchantments."</p><p>That settles it. Twice now in the span of a few minutes, Solas has lost focus, unable to concentrate on the topic of Mythal's death - a topic which should, at the very least, be a painful if not outright traumatizing memory. And yet here he sits, the topic of conversation redirected, as if they'd never even discussed it at all.</p><p>Lavellan has encountered something similar before, when speaking to people who had been in contact with Cole. Something about the spirit of compassion's presence slid off of most people's minds like water, taking away not only the memory of him but also the ability to even think about it. Small things, like watching Cole pilfer supplies from right in front of them, and then not even being aware that they were unware of his comings and goings.</p><p>But this is much larger than that - akin to what the Nightmare had done to Lavellan, taking away her memories of Divine Justinia's death, albeit on a larger scale. This is Solas being unable to speak of the very thing that prompted him to seal away the Evanuris and create the Veil.</p><p>If something had that power over Solas - <i>has</i> that power over him, even now - what secrets are hidden within the truth of Mythal's death that merit altering the memory of her most loyal protector?</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>CW: mention of modified memories, i.e. gaslighting. This warning will apply to future chapters as well, but I'll keep mentioning it in the notes.</p><p>Thank you all for reading and continuing to leave such lovely feedback, it really makes me smile! And as always, I can be found on <a href="https://mojo-da-jojo.tumblr.com">this hellsite</a> until probably the end of time.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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